Old People....buh bye....Hello Babies!!

The one thing that intrigued me about nursing was Pediatrics. As I've come along in this program, I've also become interested in the Labor and Delivery aspect of it. And, even though, it was a struggle, I'm glad it played out the way it has.

Because the program is so intense, after Christmas they split our class in two. One half did what is affectionately called OB/Peds; the other half (mine) did Older Adult and Adult Health. In the most miserable months of the year (January and February), I had to study the most boring and depressing content so far. (Aging...yuck). The good part is that it's now out of the way and it's time for OUR part of the class to go to Ob/Peds. I can't believe how excited I am. It's even made me miss flying less.

The room we were in for Jan. and Feb. was a computer room in the basement of the hospital....it was HOT and had no windows. The clinicals were on 4N, which was med/surg, and we had a brief two week stint in ICU, which was miserable. On the first day of ICU, I got the nurse from Hell. My clinical instructor had to end up pulling me from her because she was so nasty.

I did Older Adult clinicals at a fitness center in Raytown. It wasn't my cup of tea but at least it wasn't a bunch of sick people.

In the middle of the term, we had to take the HESI exam. This exam is supposed to tell us how prepared we are to take N-Clex but more importantly...to us, anyway....is that the school uses the results to place us for capstone. We had taken the exam back in the fall as a preliminary kind of thing and I did very poorly on it. In fact, I was one of the five lowest scorers in the class; it shook my confidence. Needless to say, I tried to bone up a little by going over some case studies beforehand but I felt like dead man walking going into the exam for the 2nd time. I could not believe it when the score came back and I had not only made benchmark (850) but exceeded it and got a 973!

The school says if you don't make benchmark and you want a specialized area for capstone, they will probably feel you're not ready for that and put you in med/surg. Ugh....I hated the idea of that because I think I want Labor and Delivery. So, now I at least have a chance at it. Of course, I'm competing with some pretty smart cookies for that area.

So, now we head into OB/Peds which meets in the administration building of the college. The classroom is a beautiful loft space with windows and lots of natural light. It's on the 3rd floor which means exercise. It has a kitchen area which means we can bring healthy food. The content will be better; the clinicals should be fun. I'm not in the best clinical group due to the fact that two of the people in my group are very nasty to each other but I'm going to ignore that part.

Hello Babies!!!

Check It Out!!

End of First Semester!

Best way to describe this semester is that I've felt like I'm just trying to keep my head above water so I don't drown. It has been HARD. The stacks of lecture notes you have to know before tests is mind-boggling. And you just don't get much of a break. Every time I pass a test, my celebration time is short-lived because it's time to start studying for the next one.

And you always have clinicals thrown in right in the middle of your week so the fact that you have to be at the hospital at 0' dark hundred means that you're so exhausted, you can't hardly study anyway. Every time I sit down on my bed with every intention of conquering the vast amount of info I need to know, I end up sideways on my bed, crashed out.

And what about clinicals? They are so gross (people pooping all over, disgusting things coming out of tubes from every orifice of their bodies, the most God awful smells....ugh!), I am completely out of my comfort zone and I don't really feel like I know much more than I did before I started. The beauty has been that my clinical instructor is so exhausted from what she's doing (getting her masters and working full time) that she has hardly been a task master. I may be in for a rude awakening next semester.

I feel really bonded with the people in the class but wonder if, after all is said and done, if I'll remain friends with them? I want to but once we all go our separate ways, we may not have as much in common.

I was chosen to talk to the incoming AO students and that made me feel like I had one up on them. A nice feeling for sure. Kerry is part of that class and that means she will always be one step behind me. Nice.

We lost two girls this past Monday when they didn't make the grade for their Adult Health tests....Rachel and Jenna. I guess they will graduate with the class I spoke to.

Well, gotta sign off because it's time to gear up for the HESI exam (tells me how much I've learned *not much* and far I have to go *very far*).

Unbelievable Stress...

No doubt that this is one of the most difficult challenges I've ever taken on. It started out tough but there were moments when it wasn't so bad. Then came the six classes at one time thing. Oh. My. God!! I don't have one moment where I don't feel I should be studying....and yet, it's the most boring studying I've ever done.

Pharmacology is the class I worried about the most and so far, we've had one test (got an A) and a case study, which I aced. Adult Health is a terrible class....way too much info. I waited too long to go over it and for the first test, I lucked out and got a 75%. But that is not the way I want to pass the course. I have to study harder and earlier for the next test.

Professional Concepts is turning into a colossal pain in the ass. Basically the big points come from a class presentation, which is a group project. Group projects, by consensus, suck. Jill and I are in the group and we both have teenagers so to find time to fit in group meetings is hard. Katie, who does not have as many commitments, is able to meet whenever and definitely wants to. Rachel, who won't start working on her portion of it, keeps getting irritated about meeting times. Grrr! The topic is spirituality and my portion is on gratitude. I like what I'm speaking about but every time I think about it, I go into A Fib.

Mental Health, which I underestimated, may bring me down. I did very poorly on the first two quizzes and now I'm trying to play catch up. There are only 200 points total for the class and I'm getting very worried.

Here's another bad thing about this damn school.....I am typing right now with my eyes closed. I'm that exhausted.

The Program Has Started....

Okay, three weeks in and the one word that comes to mind is EXHAUSTING. The work load is intense. Tons of assignments and they seem to all be busywork, which drives me crazy.

The good part is that we've been getting out early on most days. Our class only has 43 people and last year's class had over 80 so I think the teachers built the curriculum and calendar with more people in mind and when we blow through things, they don't have anything else planned for us. That part is awesome!

We meet every morning in the auditorium for lecture and it's usually a snooze fest for me. I wish I found this stuff interesting but I don't. Then in the afternoon, we go to lab. I'm getting tired of stripping down, putting on a hospital gown so I can have a fake assessment taken by my lab partner, Jill. It's humiliating. Plus, I'm in such a hurry to get out of lab that I don't really take the time to learn what we're supposed to learn. I'm hoping I learn this shit when I get on the job. Plus, there's a ton of it that I hope I NEVER use. I never want to place an NG tube down someone's throat. I'm not thrilled about putting in a catheter. I don't want to give a TB shot because I'm not very good at it. And, for crying out loud, I cannot hear someone's blood pressure. I guess I'm deaf.

Regardless, so far, I'm passing my classes and that's the most important thing, right? I want it to get interesting or perhaps I will have an "aha" moment when I know what I want to do with this crap. I still love babies but Melissa is freaking me out that there just won't be any jobs in the neonatal departments because everyone wants that. She might not be right but her little negative voice is in my head and it's making me have doubt.

Whatever, I either want to hold babies or travel. One or the other. Both would be friggin' awesome. Those are my two passions and I'm going to figure out a way to incorporate them into my plan, come hell or high water.

The whole time I am typing this I am feeling guilty about not working on objectives and I can feel my blood pressure rising due to the stress. I've got to sign out so I can get it done. Hopefully, when I check back in, I'll have a better handle on things.

Summer Before.....

So, I wasn't quite sure what my grades would be last semester. I got all As!!! I couldn't believe it. I worked my ass off, though.

I don't, however, think that will be the case though this summer. I've already finished up one Christianity class, with an A. And yesterday I started the 2nd Christianity class and there's no reason to believe I won't get an A in it either if I pay attention. However, the Pathophysiology class I'm taking is kick-ing my butt. A test every week. Online. No lecture. Study guides that are so vague that you have no idea how much detail you need to know....on topics that you've never heard of before. I never get a break from it. I've got a solid B average after 5 tests and I just know if I can keep the B, I'll be pleased with it. It would be just like getting an A in any other class. I only have three more tests to go and this class will be in the PAST. That will be a day to celebrate. Of course, that means it's time for the program to start, which scares the pee waddle out of me.

The beauty of the Patho class is that everyone seems to be feeling the very same. We now have a Facebook group of our AO class and everyone is posting how Patho is driving them to drink. So slowly I'm figuring out which person is which. Some of them have friended me on Facebook....Dana (who is struggling in Patho), Ashley (who just got married this past weekend and knows Frank). In addition, I met two girls in my Christianity class...Rachel and Melissa. I was studying with Melissa every Monday and she invited another gal, Neila, to study with us but now Melissa has decided to study on her own. So Neila and I are still studying together and we have a pretty good rhythm. Also, Neila is in my Christianity II class as well. It will feel good to walk into orientation in August already knowing some people. And the whole group is getting together for some drinks next Thursday as well.

I've taken the idea of healthcare marketing a step further and found that Cerner might be a really good match for me. They market healthcare software and, according to Melissa, hire nurses all the time to travel around and teach the software. I would LOVE that. Unfortunately, they want experience so I'm going to have to either bide my time or figure a way around that. And their pay is supposed to be GREAT.

Slowly but surely, I'm getting all my other stuff together for school....books, supplies, clothing...and so far, haven't broken the bank doing so. One set of scrubs instead of two, a used Research polo from a previous student, older edition books (hopefully that won't present a problem).

Haven't heard from Westwood on the scholarship yet. I wrote them a letter and requested two years instead of one since the program is so intense. And am waiting to hear back from them.

Still working at Children's Mercy and still love holding babies but the whole excitement of being there is waning. Could just be that I'm tired and would love to have one morning to sleep in.

Had to quit at Safehome because I missed a call. I didn't want to spend the time on the phone apologizing to the gal in charge so I sent her a letter of resignation. And I'm sure with the way I worded it that I have not burned any bridges there. Whew.

I'll keep you posted. In about a month, this summer will be in the history books. Doesn't seem possible. You can tell I'm getting tired of studying because I'm not using complete sentences anymore.

Almost at the End of Pre-Requisites

Yesterday was the end of spring semester and it came in the form of a surprise. I thought I had finals all this week and so after my Theatre final yesterday, I went by my Ethics' professor's office to pick up my fourth exam to study from (comprehensive final). He had indicated at the first of the term that we would be able to drop our lowest test score. I had aced all four tests so, just as a joke, I asked if he would consider allowing me to drop the final. Shock....he said yes! So, just like that, I was done two days early. Nice.

This semester really tested me. In reading my last post, I was really questioning whether or not this is the right path for me. And, unfortunately, I still question it, but maybe not as much. I finally was so distraught that I made an appointment with a counselor. She was really great to talk to. Unbiased and thoughtful. What I didn't realize is that when she took me on as a client (patient?), she already had one foot out the door to pursue other ventures. I was only able to see her three times. But, honestly, I think that's all I needed. It was just nice to say "What if I hate it?" to someone who wasn't going to freak out on me. Her question back to me was "Yes, but what if you don't?" She opened my eyes to the world of possibilities with nursing. She even mentioned being a nurse marketing rep for a drug or healthcare company....travel, talking to people, no one would be sick, and the money probably wouldn't be too shabby either. It definitely sparked my interest. Best of all, she calmed me down. (and kind of talked me off the ledge....)

In the last post, I was pretty intrigued with my Theatre class. The work load in that class squelched that excitement. His tests were hard, he loaded on the homework and, because I didn't have time to put in the lab hours required (set building; etc.), I had to write a 10 minute play, which as it turns out, I'm terrible at! It was not witty, he told me it was boring, I had to rewrite it. BUT, instead of getting mad, it just served to show me that the idea of watching theatre is a whole lot more fun than actually being involved in theater. Plus the kids that were in theater were so narcissistic that I'd have to kill them if I had to see them on a daily basis.

Ethics was a bore but ended up being an easy class.

Accelerated A & P at Rockhurst was the biggest work load. I had to memorize page after page of information to pass bi-weekly tests. In essence, I taught myself. I put in HOURS of time to prepare for those tests and it paid off because I got an A! At first, I was kind of excited about the class because it would be the girls I will be in school with at Research but as it turns out, I really only got to know one person. Her name is Jill and she's my age. I like her. She's really smart though so don't know if she'll eventually be able to tell what a dumb shit I am. The other girls were not that friendly.

Micro Lecture and Lab were with two different teachers. Lab ended up being only so-so hard. Tests were hard but labs were pretty easy. Although, to be honest, I never knew what I was doing. Luckily for me, I sat with McKenzie (a girl from my CNA class) and Jenny, a gal from Lawrence, who I ended up laughing with a lot. This other girl, Mary.....yoga instructor!....was a colossal pain in the ass. And, our teacher....TERRIBLE. Condescending, rude, never prepared for class. Still, I got an A. Go figure.

Lecture was one of the hardest teachers I've ever had. Super fast lecturer. Insisted that we tape her lectures and listen to them when studying for the tests. I tried that route but couldn't stand listening to her again so I just tried to write as fast as I could and then studied hard with McKenzie for the tests. I might have gotten a B in this class. Haven't gotten my grades back yet. The points for class came exclusively from four tests. That's it. Stressful.

I have the next 19 days to relax, get projects done and gear up for my summer courses. Get my immunizations done, buy scrubs and all the other crap I'll need.

Oh, update; I received the Westwood Scholarship, I received the HCA Tuition Forgiveness, I was accepted into the RN program at JCCC (but declined it)....so all of the things I've set out to accomplish have been accomplished. There is no reason to think I can't get the job that I want when this is all said and done. I just need to keep pushing on.

Still volunteering at Children's Mercy and loving it. Although in the last couple of days, I have been toying with the idea of giving it up if I end up needing more time off from the program.

And, still on call for Safehome but haven't been called yet. So far, so good.

I'll check in later....when I've gotten a handle on the Pathophysiology class (which I've heard is one of the hardest I'll take...yikes) and my two Christianity classes (which for some reason I think will be blow off classes. Past experience only goes to show that I shouldn't make those assumptions. Remember Theater?)