The Program Has Started....

Okay, three weeks in and the one word that comes to mind is EXHAUSTING. The work load is intense. Tons of assignments and they seem to all be busywork, which drives me crazy.

The good part is that we've been getting out early on most days. Our class only has 43 people and last year's class had over 80 so I think the teachers built the curriculum and calendar with more people in mind and when we blow through things, they don't have anything else planned for us. That part is awesome!

We meet every morning in the auditorium for lecture and it's usually a snooze fest for me. I wish I found this stuff interesting but I don't. Then in the afternoon, we go to lab. I'm getting tired of stripping down, putting on a hospital gown so I can have a fake assessment taken by my lab partner, Jill. It's humiliating. Plus, I'm in such a hurry to get out of lab that I don't really take the time to learn what we're supposed to learn. I'm hoping I learn this shit when I get on the job. Plus, there's a ton of it that I hope I NEVER use. I never want to place an NG tube down someone's throat. I'm not thrilled about putting in a catheter. I don't want to give a TB shot because I'm not very good at it. And, for crying out loud, I cannot hear someone's blood pressure. I guess I'm deaf.

Regardless, so far, I'm passing my classes and that's the most important thing, right? I want it to get interesting or perhaps I will have an "aha" moment when I know what I want to do with this crap. I still love babies but Melissa is freaking me out that there just won't be any jobs in the neonatal departments because everyone wants that. She might not be right but her little negative voice is in my head and it's making me have doubt.

Whatever, I either want to hold babies or travel. One or the other. Both would be friggin' awesome. Those are my two passions and I'm going to figure out a way to incorporate them into my plan, come hell or high water.

The whole time I am typing this I am feeling guilty about not working on objectives and I can feel my blood pressure rising due to the stress. I've got to sign out so I can get it done. Hopefully, when I check back in, I'll have a better handle on things.